/ Wednesday, January 27, 2010
its strange hur. more than a year past my last post, and i suddenly feel like being back here again.
i mean. "blogs were so last century"*cue bimbo voice*
but then. i guess, today's really been a reflecting day for me.
The past 2 months ever since the end of As, i have been partying like a mad dog.
okay. maybe partying is not the right word.
hows slacking, holidaying, rotting, slothing....
doing NOTHING with my life.
now i really want to do something right.
looking towards the future,
all i see is fear and fogginess.
i'm. damn. blardie. scared.
regret is what i really do not want.
but unless i do something to really prove to myself, this fear will always stick with me.
people keep telling me that results dont matter.
if you screw up As,
it is not the end.
but to me,
this low confidence, lacking in self esteem person,
Exams are the only way of proving to myself that i can do something(?)
lol. emo moment.
i see everyone
hustling about their jobs
learning new stuff
and all i do is watch drama series.
i see talented people fly past.
and the only thing i am slightly more inclined towards,
(ie acting, daydreaming out drama series storylines)
are all. just. dreams.
sian.
at this moment. i'm really scared.
really afraid.
its like a vacuum suddenly.
suddenly, i can do anything.
i can do any job i want.
there are no fixed subjects, syllabuses to study.
now,
i am just floating.
a floating soul.
i really want a job.
so i can do something.
again.
i miss school.
/Hopped!
1:00 AM
>>>